Dans Porn Reviews

Shemale Ambush

The appeal of shemales is largely down to the fact that they’ve got the best of both worlds, for lack of a better term. Chicks with dicks, sluts with nuts, Queenies with weenies (okay, so I just made that last one up)–whatever you end up calling them, they are in a class of their own in the porn biz. I’ve also discovered that what works best for the shemale niche is the surprise factor. For instance, you have a lovely-looking lady, statuesque and with curves in all the right places, and a stunt cock that’s got the major hornitos for all that junk. A bit of intro, a seductive striptease, and voila! The shemale dick comes out to play. Now that’s what Shemale Ambush com is all about.

The site specializes in Latina trannies, so you can bet your balls these ladyboys got the best plastic surgery in the planet to make them replicas of beauty pageant contestants. Too bad there are only 14 updates, with no info if and when the site will be coming up with more. Videos are available for full streaming in WMV for 2 connection options, and can be downloaded in WMV, MPEG, and iPod formats. Each streaming video holds a nifty slider feature for when you want to jump or go back to certain scenes any time.

There also aren’t any proper still image galleries to speak of, though the preview images provided are passably clear and entertaining. I don’t need to say that Shemale Ambush’s contents are DVD-derived, mostly from the Transsexual Heartbreakers series, so asking for high-res photos at this point might be a tall order.

Speaking of tall orders…did someone ask for a long dong with his chick?

What’s great about most of the Shemale Ambush updates is the fact that some are shot outdoors to lend fudgepacking scenes that tropical flair. Needless to say, with the shemale niche you can fully expect not just Latina ladyboys with names like Patricia, Pietra, Agata, et al prettyposing and flexing their tranny bits, but also a whole plethora of shemale hardcore goodies like anal, oral, rimming, ass-to-mouth, and even threesomes.

This site looks to be the only one in the shemale niche among the 48 bonus site of Real Porn Access, though it is by no means the only one in the gigs upon gigs of its DVD database. Still, it’s a rare thing in an index of mostly heterosexual hardcore and fetish treats, so it’s good to take a long, hard, turgid look at what Shemale Ambush has to offer now.

So it might not be crawling with tranny content at the moment, but the extras can’t be beat. For more Shemale Ambush samples, click here.

Models: Daniele, Agata, Patricia, Pietra, Alicinah, Michelle, Giovana, Carmen, Alexa, Aline, Jennifer, Monica, Fernanda, Patricia.

Smoking Foxes

It’s not uncommon for people to light up a fag after a good fuck, but Smoking Foxes com managed to conjoin the two vices in a smoking-slash-oral fetish site done POV-style. Talk about combining gullet and lung power in the name of smut. This Real Porn Access site integrates hardcore to really amp up the wank factor with its 16 current updates that are available for streaming and downloading in full for WMV, MPEG, and iPod formats. Now, if the state of the archive isn’t making you a happy wanker, bear in mind that you have full access to the multisite’s 1500+ strong DVD archive and 48 network sites, non-exclusive titles notwithstanding. Real Porn Access has some pretty kick-ass niches in its index.

All the DVD-derived streaming videos of Smoking Foxes now have a great “slider” feature for when you want to skip ahead or go back to certain scenes. IMHO, this makes up for the site’s lack of proper still image galleries, and anyway, the episode thumbs are passably clear and tell the tale.

Ye-es, apart from smoking poles with their slims, these comely chicks get drilled POV-style, too. So for those who are likely to chafe under the strain of pure BJing, take heart. The sluts here spread their legs and puff on ciggies while their puffy bits receive cock thoroughly. Intros are pure camwhoring moments layered with a fine dusting of…Muzak. Honestly. When I streamed some of the vids, I felt like I was in a sleazy lounge waiting to get picked up by equally sleazy old geezers. In others, it was techno to the core. But I digress…

After the gals regale us with their smoking skills, the suck-and-fuck-a-thon ensues. Note: the cigarette stays clutched between their dainty fingers as they smoke and fuck the stunt cock. I can’t emphasize enough what a “stroke” of genius this POV angle is, especially for those who’ve had fantasies of screwing a smoker (or two) but can’t stand the smell of a cig. Suffice to say the shots are great, well-lit, and spotlights the Smoking Foxes and their unhealthy habits really well.

There ought to be a Surgeon General’s warning that smoking can cause lesbianism, cum-swallowing, masturbation, etc. Plenty more where that came from with Smoking Foxes‘ samples, click here and cough and fap away.

Models: Eva Angelina, Crystal Ray, Olivia O’Lovely, Austin O’Riley, Lauren Phoenix, Lacey, Kaylani Lei, Alexis Malone, Naudia Nice, Trinity and Roxy, Sativa Rose, Tory Lane, Nautica Thorn, Kianna, Avena Lee, Keri Sable.

Dirty Fuck Dolls

Fuck dolls are there to get all depraved on, but the rubbery inflatable kind leave most men cold. I mean, they can’t suck back and talk dirty, can they? Fortunately, Meat Members is on hand to give pervs Dirty Fuck Dolls, the living, breathing, self-lubricating, cum-swallowing, tit-fuckable versions that are the very reason a lot of dudes resort to buying said fake fuck dolls in the first place.

Before we end up in a chicken-or-egg-type philosophical porn discussion, here are the site’s current stats in a nutshell: 59 updates, with the latest one done just a few days prior to this review. Trailers are available for most, but not all, of the updates. Same goes for the high-res picture sets–some episodes still have those pages showing up empty. All of the updates do hold video caps in zipped files and are viewable using a slide show, so there’s a semblance of consistency to look forward to. Membership to this site, as always, allows network-wide access to the rest of Meat Members’ sites.

What Dirty Fuck Dolls can boast of, at least as far as I can tell, is the gorgeousness of its model roster. Some of the gals are spotlighted alongside a stunt cock, but sheer pulchritude is what keeps episodes with two-girl tandems afloat. I am talking in particular of Melissa Lauren and Gia Jordan’s update, whose episode thumb just shows their head shots but will predictably get as much clicks as any naked, fucked-every-which-way model’s thumb just because they’re so dang beautiful (guess how I rated that particular update).

So on the “doll” aspect of the site, at least you know there’s truth in advertising. As for the dirty fuck part of the deal, let’s just say the site nixed all traces of tenderness even on its loveliest models. Threesomes, BDSM, gangbangs, anal, foursomes, bukkake, blowjobs that cause eye makeup to run….it’s like a Hieronymous Bosch painting in WMV and MPEG clips. This is where members can be grateful for the provision of high-res photos. Some of the scenes are unforgettably captured in 600 x 900 pixels, and though they’re not exactly of wallpaper dimensions, the clarity is something else at full size.

The premise that the gals were innocent prior to becoming the dirty whores that they are before their shoot is up is bollocks, but a chewy premise all the same. Clad in slut gear and made up like the porn stars that they are, I have to say Jamie Lynn Spears (Brit-Brit’s younger, underaged preggo sis) did a much better job at the innocent bit infinitely more than these girls can hope to try. But once the clapper signals them to do their stuff, they go to town earning the eponymously-titled site name by sucking and fucking the cocks (and coochies and toys) they were dealt with into oblivion.

Rough and raw hardcore treatment is what Dirty Fuck Dolls is all about. Take a longer gander at what these nasty sluts can do by clicking here.

Models: Kelly Leigh, Gabrielle, Nancy Vee, Mae Victoria, Paradise Long, Daryll Hannah, Kylie Worthy, Kayla Quinn, Elizabeth Rivers, Michelle, Brit, Dillian Lauren, Miss Arroyo, Mallorie Marx, Kelly Wells and Patricia Petite, Ariana Jollee, Allexis Malone and Victoria Sin, Cassie Young and Renee Pornero, Angela Stone, Veronica Jett, Sasha Knox, Leah Luv, Missy Monroe, Aaliyah Jollee, Jacqueline Summers, Luscious Lopez, Cindy Crawford, Crissy Cums, Lexi Hawk, Cassidy Blue, Riley Mason, Jessica Jammer, Naomi, Kat, Hailey Young, Vanessa Lane, Liv Wylder, Tiffany Taylor and Sativa Rose, Amber Wild, Tiffany Michaels, Brittany Andrews, Melissa Lauren and Gia Jordan, Courtney Simpson, Nikki Nevez, Shasta, Heidi Besk, Tyla Wynn, Lindsay Lane, Aaraly Barra, Holly and Alektra, Genesis Skye and Avy Lee Roth, Stacie Thorn, Deja Daire, Lauren Phoenix and Venus, Nikki Hilton, Taryn Thomas, Rachel Love.

Cock Brutality

With its 38 current updates and with no upload date indicated, Cock Brutality looks a bit left behind with regard to Meat Members’ lay-out renovation. Honestly, the way the updates index is done, the kind of cock abuse portrayed in the thumbs get their effect diluted with the blah indexing scheme. I am not sure why this site got neglected, aesthetics-wise, but it affects my first impression of it big time.

The way the contents are presented also doesn’t give members as many options as the other Meat Members sites that have gotten a face-lift. While the thumbs are ever-present along with a perfunctory scene summary per episode, there isn’t a proper high-res photo gallery thrown in. Zipped video captures at 720 x 480 pixels will have to do for now, though you can’t even use a slideshow to view them with ease. At the moment, you’re going to be relying on the back button quite a bit to get between pages.

As for the movies, they’re served up in the usual clips for WMV and MPEG formats, and can be streamed and downloaded for both fast and slow connections. I noticed that the WMV version had less clips than the MPEG ones with a ratio of 2:6, but quality-wise the MPEG ones are infinitely better. You’ll just need to be more patient because the MPEG downloads are considerably slower.

So what’s in store for horny pervs at Cock Brutality? The site name says it all. Deep-throaters, bukkake, anal, hardcore fucking, gangbang, facials, even DP make the grade here. Bottomline is, if it’s brutal enough to make these sexy sluts tear up while getting the drilling of their lives, it’s in. To put it more succinctly, I’ll quote from Brittney Madison’s episode which sums up the site’s thesis statement:

“We felt it was our obligation to every whore to keep them happy and loose. Watch as we pump this whore full of happiness.”

Well, isn’t that just full of glory…holes.

Right now the site has given all indications that it’s stopped updating (latest epsiode was back November 2006), which is a pity because the raunch factor can’t be beat. Anyhoo, access to all 45 Meat Members network sites with one membership makes for a good consolation prize. For more of the Cock Brutality treatment, click here.

Models: Fiona, Arroyo, Brandi, Little T, Olivia, Jax, Kelly Jensen, Fiona Cheeks, Hunter Scott, Audrey Leigh, Trinity, Betty, Kelly Moon, Holly Gold, Zenova, Summer Luv, Mika Tan, Felony, Nikka and Cassandra, Britney, Laura, Brittney Madison, Amber Rocks, Melanie Jagger, Brandy and Kirriana, Chloe Dior, Malitia, Chloe, August, Cheryl Dynasty, Tracy, Rhinanno, Jamie, Jersey, Anastaza, Hollie, Moxxy.

Anal Lick Fest

The model roster and update index of Anal Lick Fest alone speak volumes. Never has a site specializing in anal been better represented. Meat Members tapped anal expert “Khan Tusion” to put together a cornucopia of cornholed delights, and here it is right smack in the network’s formidable anal niche feast. As of the most recent count, Anal Lick Fest’s archives hold a whopping 64 updates that started in early 2006 and with the most recent addition just the same week as I’m typing out this review. Potential members should also bear in mind that each update holds a couple of ass-loving sluts, so they’d better do the math to realize just how big the wankability factor of this site really is.

Seems like Khan Tusion is on his tippy-toes to get things moving in Anal Lick Fest. Apart from the regular updates, each episode’s high-res gallery holds great-looking pics at an average of 600 x 800 pixels. That’s not including the video caps that tell the story more succinctly than the scene summaries could. Both galleries come in zipped files and can be viewed using the provided slide show feature. As for the movies, they are segmented into streaming and downloadable clips in manageable files, but some may have to download plugins in order to use the embedded player (I know I did).

So what’s in store for you at Anal Lick Fest aside from the obvious? Babes who like licking out anal creampies, and some pretty hardcore fudgepacking, that’s what. Oh, and if you’re a fan of male salad-tossing, the Anal Lick Fest sluts go to town rimming guy ass here as well. Suffice to say there’s something for everyone’s taste, as long as you have enough patience to wade through the gigs upon gigs of anal smut to pick out the stuff you like (and believe me, it won’t be that hard).

Looks like Meat Members dribbles (cum), shoots, and scores in this anal offering once more.

Membership Price: $4.95 for 3 days, $29.95 for 30 days; access to all other Meat Members network sites upon membership.

Models: Flower Tucci and Aiden Starr, Shy Love and Crissy Moon, Claire Dames and Melanie Scott, McKenzee Miles and Emili Anna, Brittney Angel and Jaelyn Fox, Adriana Deville and Jayden Rose, Kayla Synz and Whitney Fears, Savannah Gold and Chloe Chanel, Maria Bellucci and Cassandra Cruz, Denise K and Sarah Faye, Veronica Rayne and Kylee King, Jenny Hendrix and Victoria, Carmella Bing and Eva Angelina, Arielle Alexis and Carolyn Reese, Veronica Jett and Tryme, Regan Reese and Marsha Lord, Aurora Snow and Crystal Jordan, Anna Nova and McKenzee Miles, Faye Runaway and Kylie Reese, Maya Gates and Richelle Ryan, Jennifer Dark and Aubrey Adams, Naudia Brown and Holly Wellin, Cody Lane and Christina Alexis, Rachel Luv and Tiffany Price, Lexi Love and Scarlett Summers, Alicia Angel and Lyla Lei, Mika Tan and Alexa Von Tess, Brianna Love and Sindee Jennings, Katja Kassin and Katrina Isis, Christina Agave and Michelle Avante, Lexi Bardot and Riley Mason, Carly Parker and Aline, Trinity Post and Avy Lee Roth, Sativa Rose and Kaiya Lynn, Rita Faltoyano and Soolin, Chelsea Ray and Britney Stevens, Delilah Strong and Desire Moore, Arial Alexis and Michelle Sweet, Amber Rain and Leah Luv, Kellie Brooks and Christie Lee, Samantha Ryan and Cassidy Blue, Sophie and Crystal Clear, Rebecca and Bianca, Harmony Rose and Arianna Jollee, Missy Monroe and Toby Pacific, Monica Sweetheart and Chloe Morgan, Angela Stone and Haley Scott, Roxy Rush, Sophia and Jasmine Tame, Mia Bang and Genie, Tory Lane and Harmony, Davia and Kelly Wells, Naomi and Staci Thorn, Vanessa Lane and Hailey Paige, Domino and Sandra Romaine, Dana Vespolli and Nikki Nievez, Roxy Jezel and Kat, Trixie Cas and Jenna Presley, Leah Stevenson and Violet Hughes, Courtney Simpson, Amber Wild, Cindy Crawford and Dasani, Trina Michaels and Tyla Wynn, Nadia Styles and Victoria Sweet

Anal Cum Junkies

Yes, Virginia, it is possible to cram two cocks up your hiney-hole at once. Ho, ho, ho, as Santa Claus would say. Anal Cum Junkies is all about multiple-cock anal, nothing less. So if you’re cringing at the thought of a rough fudgepacking session on willing sluts, this is not the place for you. Over here, the whores have capacious cornholes that aren’t satisfied with just one plunger.

And what a place it is, crawling with around 33 anal-loving models and coming up with 37 current updates in its archive. Not so shabby for this Meat Members site that started in 2005 and has as its most recent update an August 2007 update. Of course all anal fanatics are crossing their fingers, toes, and eyes that 2008 will see more new stuff from Anal Cum Junkies, with emphasis on all fields if possible. More anal, more cum, and definitely more gorgeous junkies to get injected up their hineys with as much man meat as they can muster.

There. It’s no biggie for the likes of Angelina Crow, who’s got 3 updates to her name in this site alone, and looking like she’s ready and willing to come back for fourth helpings. Thing is, while it’s great that Anal Cum Junkies throws in a video caps gallery with every episode (and in the case of some newer updates, even a trailer), it would be really great if the high-res sections show actual photos, right? At the moment they show up empty, which is pretty disappointing. It’s too bad, because two huge cocks invading one slut’s tight poop chute would’ve been stunning in high resolution.

The model index holds an impressive roster. Most of the popular stars who’ve carved a name in the anal niche are represented, along with newbies who want to test the multi-cock ass-plunging waters. Members are encouraged to rate the scenes according to their wankability factor, so here’s a great chance to launch the career of neophyte anal enthusiasts by fans who think they’re the shit.

Nothing quite like opening the back door wide for fresh Anal Cum Junkies, eh?

Models: Sandra Romaine, Melissa Golden, Michelle Wild, Vivian La Rouche, Angelina Crow, Janet, Yvette Balcano, Karina Kay, Bella Maria Wolfe, Ashley Long, Miss Arroyo, Victoria, Valentina Valezuez, Renee Pornero, Judith Fox, Monique, Taya Silver, Heidi Besk, Simone West, Angelica, Jasmyn Lopez, Melissa Black, Melissa Lauren, Jacqueline Stone, Missy Munroe, Roxy Jezel, Alex Divine, Christie Lee, Kathy Blanche, Dora Venter, Tyla Wynn, Trinity, Lara Stevens, Kelly Wells, Marie Luv

Membership Price: $4.95 for 3 days, $29.95 for 30 days; access to all other Meat Members network sites upon membership.

Altered Assholes

In the mood to see some tight assholes altered? You’ve come (and will cum) to the right place. Altered Assholes is all about giving ravenous whores what they deserve, and according to Meat Members’ policy, they deserve no less than a gaping poop chute!

Of course, it doesn’t start off that way. What this site offers is a plethora of cock-hungry sluts who like nothing better than being tunelled up the Hershey Highway to really get off, and then some. Take Tyla Wynn up there, for instance. She’s already got a meaty tail growing out of her hiney, yet she’s begging for another plonker to ram her down her throat at the same time. Suffice to say Altered Assholes has handpicked the cock addicts with the most luscious behinds from the mere sluts with passable butts. Call it quality assurance, if you will.

Is it getting obvious that when it comes to the anal niche, my love for Melissa Lauren knows no bounds? Well yeah, she’s in Altered Assholes as well, getting her dainty cornhole creamed and crammed with cock. You can enjoy the hardcore contents in the site in a variety of ways: as high-res images, video grabs, and segmented movie clips to stream and download. There’s also a neat extra in the form of bonus scenes and footages, and it’s right smack at the new updates index so you won’t miss it. Still images are zipped and can be viewed using a slide show for convenience.

Right now there are 16 updates for Altered Assholes, with the promise of a weekly update to swell up the archive. Unfortunately, it’s been quite some time since the site last updated, which is a bummer. Episodes have anal as the main entree, but also serve up a raunchy buffet of strip teases, oral, DP, ass-to-mouth, double blowjobs, etc. Some of the most prolific anal porn stars are featured here, with to-die-for curves and butts that won’t quit.

One thumb up to this extreme anal site. If only Altered Assholes updated more frequently, methinks being a member here would be a life-altering experience.

Membership Price: $4.95 for 3 days, $29.95 for 30 days; access to all other Meat Members network sites upon membership.

Models: Jamie Brooks, Melissa Lauren, Marie Luv, Tory Lane, Saana, Sandra Romain, Tyla Wynn, Vanessa Lane, Haley Paige, Hillary Scott, Jayna Oso, Katja Kassin, Barbara Summer, Chiquita Lopez, Claudia Rossi

Ass2Mouth Sluts

It’s a rare slut who will indulge in a little fudge channel packing and licking session. Well, guess what. Ass2Mouth Sluts presents a current dozen of such sluts in a really raunchy ATM (that’s ass-to-mouth to you!) fest that’s as filthily horny as can be. Meat Members presents this no-holes barred site with pride, along with 45 other network sites you can access with just one membership. But I’m getting ahead of the dirty story.

Some of the most daring porn stars are here, including beautiful Melissa Lauren whose ass has Frenched its way into our hearts (and your pants) by indulging the biggest cocks to burrow their way up there where the sun don’t shine. She’s also quite the sucker for The Suck, taking two schlongs in her dainty mouth in one go like they’re freshly cooked escargot.

After they’ve invaded her ass and cunt in a mind-blowing DP scene, mind.

So, yeah. Basically, you’ll be getting more than just ass-to-mouth raunchiness in Ass2Mouth Sluts, but also all the other neat little sub-niches that ATM cums with. You have threesomes, anal, oral, heck, even double penetration in most, if not all, of the archives! And each update holds both high-res and video caps, as well as streaming and downloadable movie clips for WMV and MPEG formats. Very exciting stuff, that, except here’s a minor stink I noticed. Some episodes don’t hold high-res photo sets yet, but just screen captured images. Also, no full movies as far as my eye can see, though the streaming part of the deal is sweet and always welcome to us pervs.

Oh, did I mention the site also throws in some hot lesbians and interracial sessions for good measure? I didn’t? Well, don’t take my word for it but take a gander at this.

I swear, these Ass2Mouth Sluts can multi-task something fierce.

Membership Price: $4.95 for 3 days, $29.95 for 30 days; access to all Meatmembers network sites upon membership.

Models: Tiffany Holiday, Kelly Wells, Tyla Wynn and Jada Fire, Katrina Kraven, Katja Kassin, Ashley Haze, Lauren Phoenix, Melissa Lauren, Haley Page, Chanel Chavez, Taylor Rain, Stacy Thorn