Dans Porn Reviews

Shemale Ambush

The appeal of shemales is largely down to the fact that they’ve got the best of both worlds, for lack of a better term. Chicks with dicks, sluts with nuts, Queenies with weenies (okay, so I just made that last one up)–whatever you end up calling them, they are in a class of their own in the porn biz. I’ve also discovered that what works best for the shemale niche is the surprise factor. For instance, you have a lovely-looking lady, statuesque and with curves in all the right places, and a stunt cock that’s got the major hornitos for all that junk. A bit of intro, a seductive striptease, and voila! The shemale dick comes out to play. Now that’s what Shemale Ambush com is all about.

The site specializes in Latina trannies, so you can bet your balls these ladyboys got the best plastic surgery in the planet to make them replicas of beauty pageant contestants. Too bad there are only 14 updates, with no info if and when the site will be coming up with more. Videos are available for full streaming in WMV for 2 connection options, and can be downloaded in WMV, MPEG, and iPod formats. Each streaming video holds a nifty slider feature for when you want to jump or go back to certain scenes any time.

There also aren’t any proper still image galleries to speak of, though the preview images provided are passably clear and entertaining. I don’t need to say that Shemale Ambush’s contents are DVD-derived, mostly from the Transsexual Heartbreakers series, so asking for high-res photos at this point might be a tall order.

Speaking of tall orders…did someone ask for a long dong with his chick?

What’s great about most of the Shemale Ambush updates is the fact that some are shot outdoors to lend fudgepacking scenes that tropical flair. Needless to say, with the shemale niche you can fully expect not just Latina ladyboys with names like Patricia, Pietra, Agata, et al prettyposing and flexing their tranny bits, but also a whole plethora of shemale hardcore goodies like anal, oral, rimming, ass-to-mouth, and even threesomes.

This site looks to be the only one in the shemale niche among the 48 bonus site of Real Porn Access, though it is by no means the only one in the gigs upon gigs of its DVD database. Still, it’s a rare thing in an index of mostly heterosexual hardcore and fetish treats, so it’s good to take a long, hard, turgid look at what Shemale Ambush has to offer now.

So it might not be crawling with tranny content at the moment, but the extras can’t be beat. For more Shemale Ambush samples, click here.

Models: Daniele, Agata, Patricia, Pietra, Alicinah, Michelle, Giovana, Carmen, Alexa, Aline, Jennifer, Monica, Fernanda, Patricia.

Dirty Fuck Dolls

Fuck dolls are there to get all depraved on, but the rubbery inflatable kind leave most men cold. I mean, they can’t suck back and talk dirty, can they? Fortunately, Meat Members is on hand to give pervs Dirty Fuck Dolls, the living, breathing, self-lubricating, cum-swallowing, tit-fuckable versions that are the very reason a lot of dudes resort to buying said fake fuck dolls in the first place.

Before we end up in a chicken-or-egg-type philosophical porn discussion, here are the site’s current stats in a nutshell: 59 updates, with the latest one done just a few days prior to this review. Trailers are available for most, but not all, of the updates. Same goes for the high-res picture sets–some episodes still have those pages showing up empty. All of the updates do hold video caps in zipped files and are viewable using a slide show, so there’s a semblance of consistency to look forward to. Membership to this site, as always, allows network-wide access to the rest of Meat Members’ sites.

What Dirty Fuck Dolls can boast of, at least as far as I can tell, is the gorgeousness of its model roster. Some of the gals are spotlighted alongside a stunt cock, but sheer pulchritude is what keeps episodes with two-girl tandems afloat. I am talking in particular of Melissa Lauren and Gia Jordan’s update, whose episode thumb just shows their head shots but will predictably get as much clicks as any naked, fucked-every-which-way model’s thumb just because they’re so dang beautiful (guess how I rated that particular update).

So on the “doll” aspect of the site, at least you know there’s truth in advertising. As for the dirty fuck part of the deal, let’s just say the site nixed all traces of tenderness even on its loveliest models. Threesomes, BDSM, gangbangs, anal, foursomes, bukkake, blowjobs that cause eye makeup to run….it’s like a Hieronymous Bosch painting in WMV and MPEG clips. This is where members can be grateful for the provision of high-res photos. Some of the scenes are unforgettably captured in 600 x 900 pixels, and though they’re not exactly of wallpaper dimensions, the clarity is something else at full size.

The premise that the gals were innocent prior to becoming the dirty whores that they are before their shoot is up is bollocks, but a chewy premise all the same. Clad in slut gear and made up like the porn stars that they are, I have to say Jamie Lynn Spears (Brit-Brit’s younger, underaged preggo sis) did a much better job at the innocent bit infinitely more than these girls can hope to try. But once the clapper signals them to do their stuff, they go to town earning the eponymously-titled site name by sucking and fucking the cocks (and coochies and toys) they were dealt with into oblivion.

Rough and raw hardcore treatment is what Dirty Fuck Dolls is all about. Take a longer gander at what these nasty sluts can do by clicking here.

Models: Kelly Leigh, Gabrielle, Nancy Vee, Mae Victoria, Paradise Long, Daryll Hannah, Kylie Worthy, Kayla Quinn, Elizabeth Rivers, Michelle, Brit, Dillian Lauren, Miss Arroyo, Mallorie Marx, Kelly Wells and Patricia Petite, Ariana Jollee, Allexis Malone and Victoria Sin, Cassie Young and Renee Pornero, Angela Stone, Veronica Jett, Sasha Knox, Leah Luv, Missy Monroe, Aaliyah Jollee, Jacqueline Summers, Luscious Lopez, Cindy Crawford, Crissy Cums, Lexi Hawk, Cassidy Blue, Riley Mason, Jessica Jammer, Naomi, Kat, Hailey Young, Vanessa Lane, Liv Wylder, Tiffany Taylor and Sativa Rose, Amber Wild, Tiffany Michaels, Brittany Andrews, Melissa Lauren and Gia Jordan, Courtney Simpson, Nikki Nevez, Shasta, Heidi Besk, Tyla Wynn, Lindsay Lane, Aaraly Barra, Holly and Alektra, Genesis Skye and Avy Lee Roth, Stacie Thorn, Deja Daire, Lauren Phoenix and Venus, Nikki Hilton, Taryn Thomas, Rachel Love.

Cum Farters

Farting is something you do in the comfort of your own home. As for cum farting, it’s something not a lot of people do anywhere. Not unless you’re one of the Cum Farters, which means you do it a the drop of a hat. (Or, more appropriately, at the drop of a huge load up your poop chute).

This nasty piece of anal work from Meat Members glorifies what it calls “ass colored cum”. Yum-mee. With 51 updates and counting, this one seems destined to be a keeper. Except, of course, the promised high-res galleries again show up as empty as newly enema’d assholes. Also, I see bald spots in the updates with regard to trailer provision. At least the last update was roughly a month ago, and I’m not entirely sure if that’s reassuring because monthly updates aren’t exactly what I’d call regular.

Still…cum farting. Wow, the pervy mind fairly boggles with the notion.

Videos stream smoothly much like Maya Hills’ ass streams milky goodness over yonder, in a choice of WMV or MPEG clips. No full lengths here, but the clips do have thumbs that kind of tell the story visually. As is expected, the MPEG version comes off with the better quality, with the WMV ones providing faster download time. There’s a choice for low or high connection as well.

The Cum Farters recipe is versatile as far as getting to the actual flatulence-triggered spooge emission is concerned. For one thing, DP isn’t rare here. For another, anal is definitely a must. Between those two, anything pretty much goes, with deep blowjobs, group sex, huge sex toys, interracial fucking, and a host of other filthy goodness making an appearance, served up in amusing and creative ways. Suffice to say it’s a smut buffet with bareback jizzing as the main entree, with some of the sluts getting to snack on their own cum concoction. With a spoon yet.

Your smut cup runneth over with this ass-flavored nastiness. Fortunately, Cum Farters‘ got plenty more where that came from, see for yourself here.

Models: Mia Rose, Cody Lane, Tory Lane, Maya Hills, Aline, Amy Reid, Nikki Montana, Lucy Love, Angelina Crow, Jackie Moore, Lucy Anne, Judith and Barbara, Anastasia Christ, Liliane Tiger, Ellen Saint, Julie Silver, Kathy Anderson, Natali, Roxy and Tyla, Dora Venter, Laura and Angelina, Jessica, Janet Alfano, Lucy Lee, Veronika, Laura, Katja Kassin, Claudia Rossi, Teagan Presley, Jasmine Byrne, Courtney Cummz, Dilian Lauren, Riya Faltoyano, Dani Ricci, Kitty Sixx, Francesca, Aphrodite Night, Niki, Tera Joy, Keri Sable, Lucy Thai

Cream Filled Babez

A tart is infinitely tastier and more luscious if its cream filled; a pie more interesting to look at when topped with some of the stuff. Okay, so my food-and-slut metaphors suffer big time, but Cream Filled Babez is just begging for cliche analogies of the gourmet kind because it falls under the yummy, messy, extremely wankable cream pie niche.

Right now the site showcases 47 cream pie tartlets in dozens of alluring ways that always end up in cum-crammed holes. But that’s getting ahead of the story. Before all else, plenty of ways to coax a cream pie into dripping start with some good old-fashioned rutting, which could spell out premature ejaculation to a hapless wanker. Oh, and way before that, expect some horn-inducing stripteases and champion oral of the kind that can earn their own niches because they made such a production of them. The cream pie may be the end-all of this site, but the trip going there is pretty interesting in itself.

Now, for my beef with the site: the high-res galleries don’t have anything in them. Yet again. This is fast becoming something that Meat Members is known for, albeit in a not-so-good way. What gives? There are sites in the network that do have them, but most don’t. A little consistency will go a long way. Either fill up those high-res pages or get rid of that category altogether, is what I’m sayin’.

Also, there are just a few choice updates with trailers, and IMHO, trailers are great ways to glean what’s to cum in each episode. For instance, I saw one thumb with a brunette slut named Lyric being walked on a leash, and since leash sex is a particular favorite fetish curiosity, I clicked on the trailer and realized she stays strapped onto that thing in the duration of her shoot. Pretty hot stuff, that. Wish the other updates had trailers too, though.

Movies are segmented and are available as WMV and MPEG clips. The MPEGS are of better quality but could take more time to download than the WMV ones. The last episode was put up several months ago, and here’s hoping that Meat Members’ hot love oven won’t be running out of cream pies soon. It would be a pity would it were so.

There’s a variety of cream-filled cunt flavors here, from Vanilla to Oriental to Latin to Ebony. There’s hardly an episode that won’t score on the wank-o-meter, but some up the nastiness ante by featuring DP and other sub-niches like BDSM and giant sex toys. Endings are happy with either an anal or a pussy cream pie, but if you’re lucky enough to ferret them out by pure instinct, even both. With a good protein shot in the pie hole for good measure.

Cream Filled Babez is a burp-worthy feast of jerk-off fodder. See more dripping samples by clicking here.

Models: Naomi Cruz, Richelle Ryan, Isabella Dior, Lexi Bardot, Aaralyn Barra, Lyric, Reese, Laurel, Giselle, Cytherea, Mallory Marx, Daisy, Megan Martinez, Kat, Lucy Lee, Sasha Knox, Haley Scott, Allure Eden, Misti May, Aubrey Adams, Veronica Jett, Allie Ray, Simone West, Kapri Styles, Tina Star, Hypnotiq, Chyanne Jacobs, Elizabeth Lawrence, Lena Juliette, Lori Alexia, Melissa Lauren, Syndee Capri, Marie Luv, Hillary Scott, Crissy Cumms, Courtney Cummz, Kady Armani, Missy, Nicki, Roxy, Chiquita, Gia, Isabel, Jada Fire.

The saying “Two heads are better than one” rings true in most occasions. Two heads working on a solution to a problem is definitely much easier than solving it alone. Both heads could exchange ideas that definitely help in coming to the correct answer.

However, how would it work now that the heads are in “deep shit?” With ‘two heads,’ I’m talking about two hard and horny cocks, while with ‘deep shit,’ I’m talking about the asshole.

In that case, let 2 In The Stink show you the popular saying can be applied to sex and steamy double anal penetration! Expect those cocks to help each other ganging up on the female partner’s hapless anus until they release their seminal fluids inside!

DESIGN AND LAYOUT

The design is definitely far from stinky since it does not contain as much images compared to other sites, making for a quick-loading site. However, the site reeks of bland and boring, with the use of red and white as primary colors. Also, unlike other sites, the options and features are all dedicated into the same page as the homepage, so clicking on a particular option would only bring you down the page, while clicking on another option leads you deeper down the site, and so on.

A couple of problems may also arise with regard to the layout since the unique content of the site does not rise up from the sea of advertisements and affiliate sites filling up the screen. Users may also notice that the unique content is sandwiched between the network and the bonus sites, possibly giving them the impression that the content is not really the main focus of the site. Although the network sites may be awesome, users may not be getting what they actually paid for, which are the double penetration pictures videos.

CONTENT

Putting aside the limited number of pictures and videos of the models, the videos are half-decent, with little focus on the premise and the plot of the video. That may be a problem for some because they would appreciate if the site had some text to describe what’s happening in the videos prior to the double penetration action. Regardless of that, however, the videos do bring the goods, if not much.

The videos can be viewed using Windows Media Player with choices ranging from low, medium, and high quality, and QuickTime at a high quality. They can be viewed from the browser or downloaded in .wmv format, whatever fits your fancy. Also, stills from the videos can be viewed from the pictures section of each model page.

MEMBERSHIP

Interested parties are given three choices in their way to become a member of the site. People can start with a 3-day trial worth $4.97, then $34.75 for every 30 days after. On the other hand, those who are determined into signing up can avail of the 30-day recurring membership worth $29.97 or the 90-day non-recurring membership worth $59.95. Credit card, telephone, check, or International Pay Per Minute are the types of payment members can use. If anything, the bonus sites from different niches somewhat make your membership worthwhile.

CONCLUSION

For what it’s worth, 2 In The Stick isn’t half bad, as they are redeeming qualities that make the site stand on its own. However, there are probably many more double penetration sites that you can sink your teeth, or cock, into.

MODELS

Melanie, Jessica, Chris, Bianca, Britney, Erica, Sandra, Vivian, Myara, Venus, Gabriela, Alison, Karini, Jenny, Arianna

Overall Score: 61/100
Content Quality 7/10
Site Design 4/10
Navigation 6/10
Updates Score 4/10
Content Amount 5/10
Price vs Content 8/10
Unique Content 8/15
Video Downloads 3/5
Other Score 16/20